Mas Veggies Por Favor

Taking a college wellness over interterm has really taught me a lot so far. One of our first assignments was to make a behavior change plan. It took me a long time to figure out what I wanted to change most, but it came down to making the transition from vegetarian to vegan. I've been a vegetarian for more than two years now, and let me tell you, it's been quite the journey. I've learned a lot about choosing more healthy options, and putting my health first. Considering my heart is messed up as it is, I need to do everything I can to keep it healthy. If I start cutting out all the cheese that I eat (believe me, I can put down some cheese), I can keep my heart in even better health. Hopefully, this will help me in my quest for a better me.

Part of this quest has involved a lot of spiritual growth. I've never felt more close in my relationship to God than I have this year, and that is the most amazing thing ever. Though none of y'all will probably ever read this, I'd like to stop and say thanks to Jennifer, the Zachs, Jon, Beau, Abe, and so many more. You know who you are, but you'll never know how much I appreciate and love you all.

Hopefully, through this journey, I'll be obtaining a better body. When I can get to the point when I can look in the mirror and not cringe, that's success. We can't choose the bodies we are born with, but sure can choose what to do with them. I think the overall theme here is that our bodies are God's temple, and my goal is to make His temple stronger and filled with more of Him.

I'd like to ask..?

Am I even special?

They say that God created us all to be unique and special, but it seems that I can't find that thing that makes me special.

I can't really do anything very well, nor do I have any talents to speak of.

I'd love to be able to play sports, like most guys. But I'm pretty awful at them all.

I'd love to be able to draw or paint, but I'm pretty lacking in that department. Sometimes I can draw a killer stick figure though.

I'd love to be able to play music well or sing, but neither of those was a gift given to me. At least, not that I can tell.

Maybe even be smart. And a somewhat decent writer. But I wasn't born with anything special in that department.

For a while I thought making people laugh may be some talent I had, but nearly everyone can do that. Nothing special there.




I just know I'm here for a reason. I have faith in God, and He has a purpose and a plan for me.
So, maybe at some point, I'll find I have some gift. (:

I really should be writing an essay

BUT I THINK I'LL WRITE AN ENTRY INSTEAD !

So, I definitely have a paper to write. Well, in fact..2. But this is much more enticing.
It has been far too long since I've written anything here, and now that I'm freshly back from a 2 mile run in the sprinkling rain, I feel like an Iron Man. (More like a marshmallow man)
Life is fantastic, my dearest blog, and I wake up every day with a smile.
I finally found something spiritually fulfilling, and I feel awake and alive in my faith, which is basically the best feeling in the world.
I've made new friends, some of which I thought would never talk to me..because I'm a total dork.
Classes are great, my girlfriend is amazing, and jfidoapnvuirfnivoijionpv life is good :)
Just thought I'd let you know.
That is all.

Letting Go Is Hard

When you're in a relationship with someone and they mean so much to you, and you mean everything to them, but you realize that you've got a lot of growing up to do and a relationship just isn't right for your life at this point, is it selfish to do what's right for you ? Even if it hurts the other person ?

I wish it didn't hurt this much.

You know..

They always say that everyone has a, say, soulmate here on this planet. That one person that you know everything is right with, it's all perfect, blah blah blah.

That's not how things work.

At least, not how I see them anyways.

I believe we were all put on this planet for a purpose, and whether it be to invent a new type of mayonaisse, or find the cure for cancer. Through fulfilling this purpose, we may meet one person, or several people who we mesh well with. We will never "complete their puzzle" or "make them whole".

Don't take this pessimistically, please. By this I mean to say, that we are all whole people. We aren't "half a soul searching for the other half to make us one complete soul". We all have complete souls, beautiful souls. And while another person may enhance us, bring out the best in us, help us to be better people, they will not complete our souls.

And I must say. There's a person. Who brings out the best in me. There's a connection, a deep connection. We've known each other for a long time (over a decade), but never knew that one "secret" about each other. And now it seems like it's been meant to be all along. I can't believe how crazy awesome it is. You know who you are <3

Jobs, Jogs & Hot Sauce

It'll make sense, I promise.

Student Cooperative Association was the height of my senior year, as far as school goes. Becoming leader of the schools entire Community Service Sector was a huge responsibility, and I was downright proud of myself for living up to it. Slash, not just living up to it, I got awards for it. Yowza !

The people who I met through SCA really influenced how my year went. Without them, I could not have been the leader (technically I was called community service captain) that I became. They are (mostly) amazing people , and I'm super glad that I'm still friends with them. Though we all went our separate ways, it was awesome to reconnect tonight at Buffalo Wild Wings over a giant vat of hot sauce. So yes, for all you spicy food haters out there, hot sauce does have a beneficial effect. Haters gon' hate.

JOBS-- the only word I really don't want to think about this summer. I have put in at countless places, gotten a few calls back (I was hoping Eagle Scout would help, but it really hasn't so far. I know for a fact it will help me later in life though). One place that I'm really hoping will work out is the place where my little sister works (oh boy) called Plato's Closet : a sort of designer consignment shop. If it's in God's plan for me to work here, then it'll happen. If it's not, then I suppose I'll have to look elsewhere.

And the last topic (yes, I realize I went out of order from the title, I blame my ADHD (which I probably don't even really have, I'm just a spaz)), jogs. Ever since I was little, I was overweight. I struggled with my weight for years, and still do occasionally. I lost a good amount of weight my senior year, and it made me look a lot better physically, as well as helped me feel a little better about myself. However, I'm still nowhere near comfortable with my body, and although my friends tell me I have nothing to be embarrassed about, I'm still utterly ashamed of myself every time I remove my shirt in front of others.

So, what do I do about it? I'm starting the SUMMER OF SEXY. I'm so gonna do this.

I'm jogging at least two miles every day, and doing ab and push up exercises, in order so that next school year, I'll have something under my clothes (don't you dare even go there..) to be kinda proud of. I can do this, I know I can.

Team Rocket, BLAST OFF AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT.

Home Feels Different

Yeah, what the title said .

I went on vacation this weekend, and despite a few twists here and there, including the overuse of alcohol by some of my relatives (my family hardly drank at all in the past, but things have changed) it makes me realize just how much things HAVE changed since I left for college. People grow up. And some never do.

Though, I must say. Saltwater has amazing effects on the brain. I haven't been able to think this clearly since I went on vacation last year. Escaping is a wonderful thing.

Being away from home reminded me of college, and then made me realize just how much I miss everyone. There is a fellow blogger I miss the heck out of, as well as a beautiful circle of friends. I can't help but to wish that they are having as amazing of a summer as I am, because they all deserve it.

It's weird though, I was having a conversation with my bloggerbuddy the other day, discussing how home feels different. And it really does. Not in a bad way though. It's almost as if expectations of us have changed, and it's a different way of life to live up to them. Though we haven't changed as people, our roles in the household have changed. I feel now more like a tenant than I ever have. And though I'm sure everyone has done their best to make it feel like the home it was, it doesn't. And it never will again.

However, this just means that I'm moving on to a different part of my life. I'm growing up, and whether I like it or not, it's happening. So, instead of resisting the inevitable, I'll embrace it. It's part of life. =)