Sunday, October 7, 2012

Sinking Again

Why can't I fix it?
Fix what?

I'm sinking back into the circle of depression and self-harm that nobody knows about.

How can I have this dual person living, one side is happy, tries to make people laugh (sometimes fails) and be a little bit brighter to someone else's day. The other side feels like it nothing; sad, deserving of nothing but punishment and tears.
With these two, I feel fake. I feel worthless. I shoot for things and miss on a daily basis, and I can't even fix myself. I don't even know what's wrong with me.

What happened to the confidence that's supposed to be there?
What happened to "you're smart Zach!" -- it's not true.
Why can't I seem to have what others do?
true smiles
I'm not much of anything-I don't know what I have to offer the world.
Why would I even think for a second that I'm special- because I'm lame- and a loser.
I deserve to be torn to shreds..I'm worth nothing to this world.
They say that God doesn't make mistakes but sometimes
I think I fell through the cracks.